Kathy A's Story
I was born with bilateral clubfeet and congenital hip dysplasia. Doctors told my parents I would never walk at all. They refused to believe that. At six days old I had my first surgery on my hips. The next three years were filled with a continual series of surgeries, casts, and braces. Most of the effort was spent on my hips. If they did not get fixed, there would be absolutely no walking ever. My feet needed fixed too but the doctors felt that by bracing and casts they would be normal enough to carry me through much of my life.
I walked at age three - the first steps I took were my parents' biggest blessing. I began to run. And dance. And tumble. And suddenly I had a very normal, suburban, beautiful, peaceful childhood. My biggest goal was to be a cheerleader.
I worked hard to be "normal" and like the other kids. Despite the blood red scars on the insides and outsides of each thigh, I behaved like everyone else. I learned to overcome. We moved a lot due to my father's job and I learned to be an overcomer. I made new friends easily. I was popular in every school I attended. I was determined. And nothing or no one would stop me from achieving what I wanted. My handicap turned into a strength that would last throughout my entire life.
My first cheerleading tryouts came my Freshman year in high school - and I made the squad! I made it for both basketball and football! I was thrilled, needless to say.
Today I'm in my midyears and what the doctors told me would happen is, indeed, happening. I am painfully crippling in my feet. I've had two hip replacements on my right side and my hips are great. But, my feet are another story.
I have seen many orthos and specialists who cannot understand how I am walking at all because my feet are so malformed. But, I am. However, the pain is becoming so intense that it is only by orthotics and a significant amount of strong pain meds that I am on my feet at all. Now the pain never ends - it is 24/7.
I never dreamed it would happen. I feel as though I've hit an ugly wall I cannot overcome. Me - the overcomer - unable to climb this one. It's very hard to swallow. Frustrating. I wish there were some magic sugery that could be performed on my feet and make them whole. I am a writer which is a great asset to my lifestyle. At least I can sit down and work. I couldn't do a job standing or walking much.
I know there is a perfect reason for everything in my life, so I accept it all with joy and move on. That doesn't mean I don't get frustrated or sometimes even "panicky" since I have this chronic pain. But, the only way to go is forward and I will push on until I am wheelchair bound. And, I'll probably still be pushing forward then as well!!
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